


clothes make the man

by writers_haven



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Day 5: Intimacy, Jearmin Week Winter 2014, LMAO, M/M, and realised i never put it on ao3, found this gem in my folder, save jean 2k14, so here u r, yes it is 2017 but loOK
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-20
Updated: 2017-05-20
Packaged: 2018-11-03 01:40:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10957041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writers_haven/pseuds/writers_haven
Summary: Jean jolts awake to the sound of his alarm. He glances at his clock– 9:00am. Ugh.He turns off the alarm and rolls out of bed, then stumbles to the bathroom. He can hear the shower going, but Reiner, his roommate, doesn’t give a shit about personal space, so Jean just goes in quietly to have a piss. He’s just about to put his junk away when he hears a very female, very not-Reiner voice say seductively, “Aren’t you joining me?”Jean freezes. He turns his head towards the shower in slow, shocked horror.“Well?” the woman asks impatiently, and pokes her head around the shower curtain.They stare at each other for a moment that feels like an eternity, and then she opens her mouth and starts to scream.





	clothes make the man

Jean jolts awake to the sound of his alarm. He glances at his clock– 9:00am. Ugh.

He turns off the alarm and rolls out of bed, then stumbles to the bathroom. He can hear the shower going, but Reiner, his roommate, doesn’t give a shit about personal space, so Jean just goes in quietly to have a piss. He’s just about to put his junk away when he hears a very female, very _not-Reiner_ voice say seductively, “Aren’t you joining me?”

Jean freezes. He turns his head towards the shower in slow, shocked horror.

“Well?” the woman asks impatiently, and pokes her head around the shower curtain.

They stare at each other for a moment that feels like an eternity, and then she opens her mouth and starts to _scream_.

Jean jumps in shock and backs away from her, immediately feeling his face start to burn with embarrassment. “Get out!” she shrieks, and starts throwing everything in arm’s reach at Jean– shampoo, conditioner, even Jean’s own soap.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Jean tries to say, holding his arms up to shield himself from the barrage of toiletries as he tries to find his way out of the bathroom in a panic. Apparently out of soaps, the woman starts chucking softer things at him– he isn’t quite sure, but it’s probably her clothes that had been hanging next to the shower. Jean doesn’t stop to confirm it; he just gets the hell out of there and slams the door shut behind him.

“And _stay_ out, perv!” the woman yells through the door, and Jean sighs. All he’d wanted was a piss before having to go out and stand in theme park queues for hours. God, was that too much to ask?

“Hey, Jean, your boyfriend’s here to pick you up!” Reiner’s voice comes booming from the living room.

“Shit!” hisses Jean. “Just– tell him to hang on–”

“Too late,” says Reiner cheerfully, and he and Armin round the corner.

They stop short and _stare_.

He can’t blame them, really. What must Jean look like, with women’s clothes hanging off his body, his fly undone and– _holy fuck his dick is still hanging out how is this Jean’s life?!_

“Uh,” squeaks Jean nervously. He wants to explain what’s happened but the words won’t come.

“Jean,” Armin starts slowly, “is there something we need to talk about?” His tone is equal parts terrified and terrifying, and it occurs to Jean suddenly that Armin might think Jean was dicking around with a woman before he got here oh god holy fuck no.

“This isn’t what it looks like!” Jean is quick to say, desperate for Armin to believe him. “I swear I wasn’t cheating or anything, this is all just a huge misunderstanding–”

“I understand the situation completely,” says Reiner solemnly, and Jean turns to him with hope. Surely the woman was Reiner’s acquaintance? Surely Reiner could put things right?

Reiner crosses the small distance between them and claps his hands on Jean’s shoulders.

“Your interest in crossdressing does not lessen you as a man in my eyes!” he declares passionately, and Jean wants to sink into the ground and die.

“That’s not it!” Jean objects loudly.

Armin is frowning, but seems to be considering it. “You could’ve talked to me about this,” he says, sounding somewhat hurt, and Jean is seriously considering tearing out all of his hair in frustration.

“Babe, please, listen to me,” Jean begins, but Reiner plucks an honest-to-goodness _bra_ off of Jean’s head and actually seriously examines it, and Jean just cannot form coherent sentences anymore.

“32 C, huh,” Reiner says. “Jean, if you’re going to wear a bra, you should make sure it fits you.”

“It’s not mine!” Jean splutters.

“Ah, my girlfriend has the same one!” Reiner cries excitedly. “Yes, yes, this brand, _Intimacy_ , she swears by it, you’ve made a good choice–”

“It wasn’t my choice, okay, I’m not looking for bras, I don’t want to wear any!” Jean interrupts him hurriedly. “It was all an accide–”

The bathroom door suddenly opens, and the woman steps out, dressed only in a towel, looking furious.

“You fucking asshole, walking in on me in the shower _and then_ stealing my clothes so I can’t get dressed!” she hisses at Jean, snatching her clothes off of him viciously, then turns to Reiner and swipes her bra from his grasp. “We’re through,” she snarls at him, and storms out of their apartment in a rage.

There is a short, awkward silence.

“Is she going to go all the way home in a towel?” Armin is the first to ask, practical as always.

“She lives across the hall,” Reiner replies.

“Uh,” says Jean. “Am I still in trouble?”

Armin sighs. “Just put your cock away and get ready to go,” he says, sounding fondly exasperated. “Only you, Jean.”

Jean tries for a charming grin– well, as charming as he can be in his tattered pajamas with his cock hanging out. “I’m one of a kind,” he tells Armin, and throws him a saucy wink for good measure.

\--

Reiner gives Jean a lacy red-and-green _Intimacy_ bra-and-panties set for Christmas. Jean is mortified, but Armin laughs and laughs and laughs.

(They make good use of the lingerie later, though, because as it turns out, Armin has a thing for Jean in lacy underwear.)

**Author's Note:**

> a relic from the past
> 
> enjoy


End file.
